For Valentines day: How we met...A true love story!

Let me tell you the story of how Phil and I met...

Well, it's not the way I thought I would meet my husband!
As many of you know, I was married before and sadly it ended unexpectedly for me. I really was heartbroken for a long time. I thought I would never be able to trust again, love again or feel love for someone again. And more to the point....would anyone love me? A single mum with 3 young children.

In 2007, three years after my first marriage ended, I was sat on the sofa one night enjoying a glass of wine, watching a movie and felt very alone. I felt overwhelming sadness that I was on my own. I loved my girls with all my heart and had so much love to give them but I knew that I also felt there was love in me to love another. What a waste it would be to go through life knowing that not only could I receive love but also give love and share love with another if only I would risk it...and it was a risk. I had been hurt, badly.
Did I want to put myself in that situation again? But then if I didn't I would never know.

But where would I find love? They say you find love when you are least expecting it but for me I wasn't out there to find it. My time was taken up with looking after the girls, the home and going to work. It was only rarely that I would go for a night out with friends.

So, my mind pondered all of this and I decided I had to be pro-active. If love wasn't going to find me, I was going to find it!

One afternoon I opened up Google on the Internet and typed in Christian Dating sites. As a christian, it was important to me that I found someone who shared my faith. But ultimately, as long as that person was kind, loving and caring and accepted my beliefs that was all I  wanted. He didn't have to be going to church every week,  just have good moral values and a kind and loving heart.
I wasn't looking for a husband, just friendship and romance and was happy to see if things would develop into more...little did I know!

A site came up called Link Christians. It told me it was free for the first month and how much success the site had had. It looked promising as I put in my details and it found matches for the criteria I had selected.

A few photos and details appeared but one photo and profile in particular really stood out to me.

His face was kind and he had a twinkle in his blue eyes. I found him attractive and as I read his profile felt that I should send him a 'smile'. This was the way you let someone know you had viewed their profile and liked what you saw!

His name was Phil and he was in the Army. He shared a little bit about his hobbies and interests and mentioned that he had worked in a special needs school for about 6 years before changing careers and joining the Army.
I am a teaching assistant and so this interested me. It would be a talking point and it was obvious that he liked children which is what I was looking for in a  partner.
He also said that although he was brought up as a christian he hadn't been actively going to church anywhere for quite some time but the foundations were there and he still held onto his beliefs.
I felt ok with that and could understand that army life isn't perhaps the easiest place to be a christian.
He was also from the North west of England, although based in Suffolk with the Army but I thought it might be easy to meet up when he was home. To be honest, I had been on my own for so long, I felt that if he was working away during the week and we saw each other on the weekend, that would be fine for me!

I checked in on the site the next day...and the next day, expecting him to have responded to my 'smile'. But nothing.
The more I looked at his photo and profile I had this feeling that I needed to contact him so that we could establish if there was any interest on his part because there certainly was on mine!
God spoke to me through this strong feeling that Phil was going to come into my life in a big way so I wasn't going to let this opportunity go!

So, I told my twin sister Donna what I was up to.
I had Donna help me put a message together something along the lines of I thought that we had a few things in common and how much I liked his profile. In fact I think Donna typed it for me and sent it because I felt a bit nervous.

Well, I kept checking in on the web site for a few more days but still nothing.
I did receive a few 'smiles' and messages from others though, which helped my confidence and gave me hope that there were actually men out there, that after reading my profile, were interested...even with me having 3 children!

But the guys who got in touch, although very nice, didn't 'float by boat' the same as Phil!

Finally, after nearly a week I checked in on the website and found that Phil had left me a message!
I can't tell you how excited I felt! I had butterflies in my tummy and felt a bit giddy that he'd responded but what did his message say...?

I opened the message and was relieved to find that he liked the look of my profile too and had decided to leave me his email address so that we could exchange a bit more information about ourselves.

I can't quite remember but I'm sure I will have hurried off to tell Donna my big news! She is always the first to know when anything good or bad happens in my life!

We sent each other a few emails and Phil shared with me why he'd taken so long to respond.
He had signed up for the months free membership like me but when I had sent my 'smile' his free membership had expired and he would then have to pay the £12.00 a month to access the site.
He'd received my 'smile' but couldn't see my details and so debated whether or not to sign up again so he could view my profile. Eventually, he paid the £12 and accessed my profile. I'm so glad he did!

We exchanged emails and went on online messenger and chatted for a bit and then after about a week decided we should phone each other.
We decided on a day and convenient time. I remember the excitement I felt at the prospect of hearing his voice....

The girls were tucked up in bed when the phone rang. I answered it.
'Hello Marie, It's Phil',  I heard on the other end of the line. How exciting! He sounded very nice, well spoken and he sounded pleased to hear my voice too.

We must have spoken for a few hours! He was so easy to talk to and I remember liking the way he said 'because' ...more like 'becorrs' and he said my voice was deeper than he expected and not so northern...well I guess I have my southern parents to thank for that!

In that conversation we must have covered nearly every aspect of our lives. Our childhoods, family, relationships and ...Cillit Bang!

Yes, very strange I know! But we must have gotten on to talking about cleaning ( I know, what the heck?) and we must have mentioned products we use and ended up talking about the latest product on the market at the time, which was Cillit Bang! I don't even use it...perhaps I tried it, but honestly, what a thing to talk about!

But it didn't put him off! We phoned each other a few more times and then decided to meet.

The date was set, Saturday 30th June 2007.
I couldn't wait to meet him. I woke up that morning feeling quite peaceful about it all not nervous as I had expected.
Phil drove up the motorway that morning to meet us. I say us because it wasn't about just meeting me, it was about meeting the girls too.
I had asked them if they wanted to meet my new friend who I had been emailing and they said they were fine with it. I explained that his name was Phil and he was in the Army and I was excited to meet him. It was important to me that the girls were all ok with it and I would have waited a bit longer to meet him if necessary. But there was no point him just meeting me alone without the girls beacause if the relationship was to develop, the girls were going to be a big part of his life along with me.

I got a phone call  to say he'd set off and then I got another phone call when he was only a few minutes away. He rang to check the directions to the house.

So, knowing he was only a few minutes away I waited by the front door.
My middle daughter, Laura, was playing out in the street with a friend and Phil slowed the car down and spoke out of the car window to her telling her that he was Phil and recognised that she was Laura. They smiled and passed a few words between each other and then he pulled on to the driveway.
I felt excited. He was smiling at me and his blue eyes were twinkling, just like they did in the photo I had seen of him.
As he got out the car and walked towards me, my youngest Eleanor got passed me to say hello first and asked if he did piggy backs!
Phil obliged and Eleanor climbed onto his back! He was stood in the hallway saying hello to us all but with the girls there, I didn't give him a hug or a kiss...not until later!

Looking back it must have been quite overwhelming for him! But he coped very well.
I guess I was very aware of how the girls would react to him and so was careful not to show too much affection but I knew that even prior to meeting him, I had given him a little piece of my heart!
What I did notice was that he didn't hold much eye contact with me. He kept looking down or away when he was talking. I was a little unsure why but he told me a while later that he felt 'overwhelmed by my beauty' and thought 'how am I going to impress her?!'
Ha ha! Honestly, he needn't have worried...I was worried he would think I wasn't what he thought I was in the photograph!
He looked just as I'd expected him to but was a little shorter than I'd thought. He'd said he was 5"11 on his profile when in fact he's probably more like 5"9 and half!
He also commented that I was taller than he thought but I'd been accurate and said I was 5"6, it was just that he was shorter!
I remember he smelt of coconuts too! It was the scent of the toiletries he was using at the time but I liked it.

He also met my twin sister Donna that day...It was important he passed that test, which he did!

And so we all went out together to have lunch and then went to the cinema to watch Shrek.
I sat next to Phil and we sneekily held hands and whispered to each other how glad we were to have met one another. And we had a little kiss too when the girls weren't looking!

At the end of that afternoon, we were very keen to meet again and we arranged to meet the following week because he was on leave. This time, whilst the girls were spending time with their dad, I shared some time with Phil, just the two of us...and love blossomed.

Within a few weeks we were saying I love you to one another...in fact it I think it was Phil that said it first!
Later that summer I met Phil's family.
It was lovely to meet them and I didn't underestimate how they may have been slightly apprehensive about Phil finding love with a divorcee with 3 children but they seemed to accept me and the girls and showed me much love and kindness. In fact it was Phil's brother and sister in law who had encouraged him to go on the dating website to begin with so I have a lot to thank them for!

He was at a point in his life where he had had some long term relationships but none of them had worked out and he was starting to wonder if he'd ever find love and get married.
Phil has said, that he was looking for love in all the wrong places... until I came along!

Phil started coming along to the church I attend. He had been honest with me at the start and said how he'd not been to church for a long time. I'm glad he was open to coming along to my church and before long he was coming every Sunday, getting to know new friends and enjoying the fellowship.
I know since we have been together that his faith has grown as a result of this and my faith has grown in that time also.

Things were going really well and we were very careful to include the girls in all our decisions.
It became obvious that we were meant to be together and we did ask the girls how they would feel if we got married and they didn't have any objections. They got on with Phil so well and he was great with them.
Phil would come up from Suffolk every weekend, driving the 600 mile round trip to spend time with us.
And in March 2008 Phil proposed marriage and I said yes!

I never thought I would marry again after the heartbreak I had been through in my past but I did. I trusted Phil, I loved him and knew it was God's plan for us to be together.
On a beautiful, sunny day, on the 31st of July 2009, just over 2 years after we first met, we became husband and wife and got married at the church we both attend.

It was such a very special day which we celebrated with friends and family.
Sarah, my eldest daughter, walked me down the aisle that day with Laura and Eleanor walking ahead of us. I felt thankful that I'd had a second chance at love, that I could share my life with someone and know true love.

I know for sure God played a part in bringing us together.There is no way we would have met under ordinary circumstances. I lived miles away from Phil and he had no reason to come to my part of the country.
Phil was an answer to prayer. I would never have met him if it wasn't for the internet! How it has made the world a smaller place and a place I now share with Phil.

My Mum and Dad recently celebrated 55 years of marriage...something I aspire to even if that will mean Phil and I will be 90 when and if we get there! But I have seen the way their love for one another has changed, grown and deepened over the years. They really have worked at their marriage and been there for one another in the good times and bad. They are a real inspiration.

Phil and I celebrate 4 years of marriage in July and we have shared many happy times together and created some beautiful memories but I will be honest and say at times it's not been easy. Every marriage has it's ups and downs and we have certainly shared some tough times together along the way, especially during long periods of separation, when Phil has been away in Afghanistan but our love and God's love has brought us this far and I pray it continues to.

I dedicate this blog post to you Phil.

Phil, you are a wonderful, caring, kind and loving husband who is always there for me and I am blessed to have you in my life.


I love you! xxxxx