My African child...

As you know, I have 3 girls, Sarah, Laura and Eleanor. Back in 2004, I found myself in the new role of being a single parent and I have to admit that I found life quite a struggle back then. I love my girls with all my heart and found myself feeling a lot of sadness about the way family life had changed for me and for them, even though I hadn't wanted it to. I looked around me and seemed to see 'families' everywhere, doing the things we used to do as a family. My heart was truly broken and even though I was moving forward (I had no choice, I had to) I was also looking back, longing for the old times and holding on to memories that brought about a whole mixture of emotions.
Along with this emotional and physical change in family life, my finances changed too. At that time I wasn't working and had to go onto benefits. I had always looked after the finances and so knew how to look after the household budget but this change in circumstance meant I was now having to count every penny.
But during this time I really felt God put it on my heart to think of others in less fortunate circumstances even though I was feeling quite sorry for myself. I could hear God say,
"You have a roof over your head, you've eaten today, you have nice clothes and a comfy bed...there are people who are worse off...take a look around you!"

And so I did. A friend of mine had told me about Compassion, a Christian organisation which enables you to sponsor a child from an international country who is living in extreme poverty. Compassion partners up with local churches to address the child's spiritual, economic, social and physical needs. They present every child with an opportunity to become fulfilled Christian adults.
I felt God telling me that even though I was living on a really tight budget, I could do this, He would make it possible even under the circumstances. God was saying that if I blessed others, He would bless me accordingly.


And He did...with a lovely little girl called Metsehet!

 

 

 

She is 12 years old now and we have been sponsoring her since 2007. Here is a little bit about her:

Metsehet lives on the plains of Huruta in Ethiopia and lives under the care of her grandfather. Sadly, her mother is no longer alive and it is not known if her father is alive.There are two children in the family, Metsehet and a boy. Her home duties include running errands and cleaning.  For fun, Metsehet enjoys playing house and reading, She attends church and Sunday school regularly. She also attends school locally.
Huruta is home to approximately 15,000 residents. Typical houses are constructed of dirt floors, wood walls and corrugated iron roofs. The primary ethnic group is Oromo and the most commonly spoken language is Oromiffa. The regional diet consists of maize, beans and teff (local grain). Common health problems in this area include TB, HIV/ AIDS and water borne diseases. Most adults in Huruta work as day labourers and earn the equivalent of approximately £5 per month. This community has water, electricity and telephone service but needs vocational training centres and employment opportunities.
Sponsorship allows the staff of Huruta Mekane Yesus child development center to provide Metsehet with Bible teaching, hygiene and health education, health screening, supplementary food, recreational activities, picnics, field trips, educational materials, tuition, tutoring and counselling services.

I write regularly to Metsehet and she writes back some very sweet letters, usually asking about the things we have been up to and I remember her asking once if we have a 'Dry Season'! Not in this country, I replied!
I also get a copy of her school report and she is doing well, performing just above average.

The girls also like to write the occasional letter and my youngest daughter is just a few months younger than Metsehet.
What different lives they lead. It would be so good to meet Metsehet one day. I feel she is part of our family and I am blessed to have her in my life. We pray for her often and can only imagine how life is for her, but I do feel that because she is part of the Compassion organisation, she is getting the best opportunities available to her.

Sponsoring Metsehet has changed my life for the better. I have a 'daughter' living in Africa who means so much to me. She has made me see life from a different perspective. When I look back to the days when I was struggling as a single parent and finances were tight, things were so much worse for little Metsehet and her family. She was living in extreme poverty and had lost her mum...we were still a family, all be it 'changed' but the girls still had me providing them with love, stability and a nice home to live in. And as the years progressed my life would change again, for the better this time, with Phil coming coming into it, not long after I started supporting Metsehet!

I want to ask you at this time of year, when we look to the future and the new year ahead whether you would consider sponsoring a child like Metsehet? I know some people like to make New Year's resolutions to change their lives for the better, how about changing someone elses life for the better...not only changing their life but their future?
I know for a lot of us that the economic climate means finances are tight and when I started sponsoring Metsehet they were for me too, but I can promise you, the blessings you receive in knowing you are helping someone less fortunate are so much more than the financial commitment you make on a a monthly basis. Just knowing there is a little child out there, benefiting from your help, is enough in itself but you also receive letters and photos and the knowledge that their future is brighter because of your commitment in their life.

Love and prayers
Marie xx

Twas the day after Christmas...

The day has been and gone yet again. The build up, the preparation and the planning and it's all over in a day! But it was a wonderful day, spent with family and I cherished it as always.

It started early with the girls setting the alarm for 7.00am...but it goes with out saying that they were awake well before then. It really didn't seem like I had been asleep very long before they came into our room demanding to go downstairs!

 

The girls really did do well with lots of presents from generous family and friends. And I received some very thoughtful gifts too.

 

 

On Christmas Eve, Phil gave me a beautiful, handmade Christmas stocking and 3 little Angels, with the girls initials on,for the tree. It was a lovely surprise and of course by morning the stocking was magically filled!

 

 

 

 

 

They were hand made by a friend of Phil's who has set up her own business called

 Little Robyn Red Head. Take a look at her page on Facebook. She's so talented and makes some beautiful things for the home.

 

 

After the madness of opening the presents I did have some quiet time to reflect on the meaning of Christmas. 

The contrast between the chaotic opening of presents and the peace found in prayer was needed by me and I'm glad I found time in the day to acknowledge in my heart the thankfulness I have for the best gift of all, Jesus Christ.

 

 

This is the verse I posted as my Facebook status yesterday...Isaiah chapter 9 verse 6.

The reason for the season!

 

 

 

 Later in the morning we got ourselves ready for the day and headed up to my twin sister's house where we enjoyed a lovely Christmas dinner with the rest of the family.

If you read my previous post you will know that we have very special times together as a family. The turkey cooked by Donna was excellent and the whole meal was delicious. As always there was lots left over even though we were full up!

 And once again we enjoyed singing carols after dinner as well as playing a game of Logo and Trivial Pursuit later in the day.

 I also enjoyed lots of cuddles with my great niece Esmé. She is 7 weeks old now and so cute!

 

 

 Cuddles with Esmé.

 

 

 

In the evening the Christmas cake off took place.

And after some 'blind taste testing' the results were in...

 

1st place for 'taste' went to...Me!

and 1st place for decoration went to...Donna!

 

Donna really had made an effort with her little characters and icing whilst my cake just had the edge with taste and texture, probably because I have the advantage of a Kenwood mixer!

 

 

My cake wins 1st place for Taste!

 

So there you have it... you could say it was a draw!

It was all done in fun though, no prizes but I think we will have to do it again next year for sure.

 

 

I really haven't done much today after the excitement of yesterday, apart from watch Downton Abbey. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet but it was very good and you may need some tissues handy!

 

Are you a Downton Abbey fan? I love it!

 

Feel free to share about your Christmas day on here, I'd love to know how the day was for you!

 

I am thankful for yesterday and the special time we shared together as family. I know for some it will have been a difficult day but I do hope you found some peace in it all.

 

 

Love and prayers to all my family and friends.

Marie xx

 

Christmas...around the table

After the madness of getting up in the wee small hours of the morning and opening the presents (why is it the wrapping takes hours and only takes minutes to unwrap?!) I look forward to enjoying my Christmas dinner in the company of my lovely family. 

This year, as I have done for the past 8 years now, I will be having Christmas dinner at my twin sister's house. As it happens...she lives in the same street as me! I know!... who would have thought it, twins living in the same street! A little confusing for the neighbours at times!

Donna has a lovely home and a large back room which over looks the garden, At Christmas she decorates it beautifully and her husband makes a specially designed, one off, never to be used again, Christmas table, to fit all the guests round, usually made from MDF. But once covered in a Christmas tablecloth, candles, table arrangements and place settings it looks absolutely stunning... I'm sure Kirstie Allsop would be impressed!

 A table fit for a banquet...which it usually turns out to be, with Donna and her husband cooking the turkey and veg, me donating the roast potatoes and parsnips and Mum and Dad bringing the Christmas pudding, mince pies and rum butter.

There is always plenty of Cava and Dad's favourite, ginger beer.

 

Presenting...the very beautifully decorated, Christmas table.

 

 

 There will be 13 of us  sat round the table this year. Mum and Dad, Donna and her husband and boys, my older sister Lisa and her husband and Phil and I with the girls.

Yes, the turkey is succulent, the crackers go bang and the cava is bubbly but what makes it special is the fact we are family.
Family means the world to me, especially at Christmas. I know I wouldn't be without mine. My family laid the foundations for my life. I'm rooted in them and them in me even though I continue to grow and flourish in my own way. We are all branches from the same tree.

As we sit around the table, we talk, we laugh and we reminisce about times gone by.

Dad grew up during the second world war and has many a story to tell. He's great at telling us stories of what he got up to in his younger days and I remember one particular Christmas story of when he was doing his National Service.

 He was posted out in Egypt for two years and when those two long years has passed he made the much eagerly awaited trip home by ship, expecting to be home for Christmas. However there was a series of delays and it never happened. He finally got home on his mother's birthday on January 8th...What a wonderful birthday present for his mum, to be reunited with the son she'd not seen for 2 years!

Yes, I could listen to Dad's stories over and over again, which we quite often do! But I love him sharing his memories. They're part of him and make him the person he is today.

 

Mum and Dad have been married for 54 years now. Mum was 19 and Dad 28 when they got married in 1958.  They have 3 daughters, 9 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren now. They really are the best mum and dad I could have ever wished for and I'm thankful for the upbringing they gave me.

 

 

Mum and Dad

 

A new family tradition...

 

 Something else we do around the table is sing...yes we sing! We get the carol sheets out and have a good sing song round the table once we've eaten. It's what we do. It started a few years ago now and it's become a tradition.  Donna and I have always enjoyed singing and I sing the harmony whilst Donna sings the melody. With the candles lit, the lights are dimmed and we remember the reason for the season, by singing the carols which tell the story of Jesus' birth.

We also sing a few Christmas songs too..Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas is a favourite, sung by the very talented Judy Garland in this clip.

 

 

I love the words in this song...

 

Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Will be near to us once more
Someday soon, we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

 

I'm thankful we are all together at Christmas time. I'm thankful we have each other, I'm thankful that we are still able to laugh, smile, sing and reminisce.

I'm thankful for my family, my mum and dad and sisters.

I know for some, things won't be the same this Christmas. Maybe they've lost a loved one this year or their circumstances have changed. My heart and prayers go out to them and their families. Whatever situation you might find yourself in this Christmas, I'm thinking of you.

 

What are your family traditions? Or what happy memories do you have from over the years? I'd be interested to find out.

 

 

Have a very Merry Christmas.

Love Marie xx

PS...Anyone for a slice of cake?

A quick update on our new tradition, The Christmas Cake off!

Although we've yet to taste them, here are some photos of the end results!

 

 

My entry! Sarah my eldest daughter helped with the beading. We were going for a vintage look! Good enough for the family at Downton Abbey perhaps? :)

 

 

Donna's entry. A Winter Wonderland scene with all characters made from fondant icing...I think they look great!  But what does the cake taste like? We will see!

 

 

Mum's entry. Choir boy and Christmas bells. I made the cake so the judging has to be purely on the decoration! Again, all the decorations are made of icing by mum's own fair hands!

 

 

Let the judging commence...perhaps you'd like to be the judge when it comes to the decoration, we'll do the tasting! Feel free to leave a comment below.

The Light...

 

 

Just had to share this poem I read...

 

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.

Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air..
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

"Where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"This is heaven." declared a small boy. "We're spending Christmas at God's house."

When what to their wondering eyes did appear, but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring those children all flew into the arms of their King

And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace, one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

Then He looked down on earth, the world far below He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe.

Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand, "Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"

"May this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"Come now my children, let me show you around."

Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA


Remembering all those heartbroken families in Connecticut, love and prayers xx

Anaphylactic Shock: The follow up...

As you may know, my eldest daughter Sarah suffered an anaphylactic shock 2 weeks ago and ended up having to be treated with 2 doses of adrenalin, hydro cortisone and treatment for her asthma. Afterwards, she stayed in the local hospital overnight for monitoring and now carries and Epi-pen at all times.

It happened after she ate a naan bread and so we assume there was something in it that prompted the allergic reaction. She has always had a mild reaction to peanuts since she was a toddler and so has avoided them since then.

Sarah had to go for further testing today at the hospital to establish the exact cause of the anaphylaxis.

She had skin prick tests for lots of different allergies including peanuts, brazil nuts, walnuts, cashew nuts, dogs, cats, dust mites, grass and tree sap.

 

Sarah's arm after the skin prick tests. 

 

The link below gives you information about the testing and how it is done:

http://www.allergyuk.org/diagnosis--testing-of-allergy/skin-testing

 

 

The results were a little surprising. She had a mild reaction to peanuts but the biggest reaction was to dust mites and cats!

So, we can conclude that....... the naan bread must have had a dusty cat in it! lol

But seriously, we do need to establish the exact cause and the skin prick test is not always fully reliable for food allergy testing and so hopefully the blood tests (RAST test)  she had done the day after the anaphylaxis will reveal more.

 

*Latest news*

 

I don't know why we didn't do this sooner...probably because we assumed it was her peanut allergy but tonight I rang the food place where Sarah got the naan bread and they told me that they only cook in vegetable oil and the naan would NOT have had any peanut in, only almonds, coconut, banana, milk, raisins and self raising flour and they do not use peanut in anything so cross contamination would be very unlikely.

Sarah was not tested for almonds so perhaps it was that she reacted so badly to although she has eaten marzipan before and cake with almonds in...?

 

I'll keep you posted!

 

 

 

 

Heartbroken

 

 

 

 

Romans 12 verse 15:

...mourn with those who mourn.

 

Psalm 34 verse 18:

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

 

 

My heart goes out to  those families who have lost loved ones in the tragedy that has happened at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, USA.

I can not and do not want to imagine what those families are going through. Their pain and sadness must be unbearable.

I'm lifting the families up in prayer and will light a candle today, remembering those who have lost their lives.

 

Lord, Help the families who are mourning today feel and know your presence in their pain and sorrow.

Hold them close to you and comfort them in their grief.

Shine your light into the darkness.

Be with them Lord and surround them with your love and peace.

 

Also be with the people who have had to deal with the tragedy as it happened, the emergency services, the doctors and nurses. They have witnessed things they should never have had to see. Help them to recover from this ordeal, heal their hearts and minds. Give them your peace.

 

Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

Army Wife

Radio 1 has teamed up with BFBS ( British Forces Broadcasting Service) and are broadcasting live from Camp Bastion this week.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/latestnews/2012/greg-james-bastion.html

It made me think of all those serving out in Afghanistan at this time of year and how difficult it is for them and their loved ones at home.
Christmas is a time when family should be together and for some that won't be possible this year.

This evening, I was listening to Greg James read out some messages from home to loved ones serving over there and one dedication really touched me. It was from a young army wife whose husband is at Camp Bastion at the moment and it is their first wedding anniversary later this week...they won't be able to celebrate it together! She is also expecting their first child in April...he's not home til May!

The life of an army wife can be so difficult at times and I know some of those serving soldiers out there would agree, it can be just as difficult for the loved ones at home as it is for the soldiers on tour. The one at home is often left  juggling home life, work and children whilst supporting their husband/boyfriend in the best way they can, finding time to write letters, send parcels and be a loving and caring voice at the end of the phone when they phone home after a difficult day.

I thought I might share some of my thoughts on being an 'army wife', the role I chose when I married my husband, Phil, three and half years ago and recall the first time we experienced a tour of duty and a long separation.



I married Phil on a lovely sunny day in July 2009. By that time, I had already experienced him doing a tour of Afghanistan. We had only been together 11 months but were already engaged when he went away for four months in May 2008. It was tougher than I had expected.

Phil is a Sergeant in the REME- Royal Electrical & Mechanical Engineers and works as a technician fixing Apache helicopters. I remember that we were expecting him to go away at some point later on that year but he got a phone call to say he was needed out there sooner and so we had 2 weeks notice.

I had received a text from Phil when I was at work to call him. I was unsure what was on his mind that he couldn't share in a text. So, when I finished work I called him as I sat in the car.
I wasn't prepared for the news he shared  and  remember sitting there for a while afterwards feeling sorry for myself and had a cry because I knew a tour was coming but not this soon.
And so, we prepared ourselves mentally for him going away.

Some people said to me that I knew what I was letting myself in for when Phil and I got together but you don't really know how things will be when you're separated for four months until you are going through it.

Previous to meeting Phil I had been on my own for a few years, raising the girls as a single mum and in that time became very independent and I think that was good preparation for the role I now found myself in.
But I have always had the love and support of family, friends and church family and I couldn't do it without any of them! It is so important to have support and I am blessed to have it.


The sadness I felt on the day we said goodbye was overwhelming. I remember in the days leading up to that goodbye we'd shared lots of tears together in anticipation and dread of the next four months apart.It felt like a lead weight was weighing my heart down. It felt like part of me was leaving...and it was. Our hearts had become entwined in the time we had been together and it was no longer just 'me' it was 'us'.
Phil left a t-shirt behind that smelt of him and the fragrance that he wears...I would cuddle up to it at night...and then the tears would come.

The first few weeks are the most difficult because it feels like you have a mountain the size of Everest to climb before you make your way back down towards the time your beloved will come home.  I felt quite emotional at times. I'm thankful that the girls and work kept me busy...but I couldn't help but think of him all those miles away. I work in a school and one day, in those early days, I remember the class teacher reading a story to the children and the part where the husband/dad went off to war sent me running off to another room to have a few tears! Sadness would wash over me when I least expected it. Another time this happened was whilst the children were singing in choir...can't think of the song now but I know it made me think of Phil and it set me off again!


I know that Phil was feeling just as sad as I was but to know I was at home waiting for him and supporting him and loving him from afar helped him through those four months and the count down to being together again started as soon as he left! Every day that passed when he was away was a day closer to being together again...and those days did pass, quicker than I thought they would.


Thankfully with the aid of today's technology we were able to email regularly and would also send 'Blueys' and 'E-blueys' to one another.

For those of you unfamiliar with army correspondence, a Bluey is an aerogramme that can be sent through the British Forces Post Office (BFPO) and is blue in colour (hence the name!) and self sealing. It is free to send and you can pick them up readily at the Post office and post them in any post box. Likewise, an E-Bluey is the same thing but sent electronically via the wonders of technology...a bit like an email that is printed out at the other end but self sealed, like a payslip.
I would send them to Phil and he would send them to me and there was nothing nicer and more uplifting that finding a bluey on the door mat as I opened the door on returning home from work! Sometimes a few would come at once and I would savour them, make myself a cup of tea and sit down, reading them one by one, carefully reading it to pick up on how he was feeling and what he'd been up to. I asked him to date them on the outside because sometimes when a few came at once I couldn't tell which order they had been written in and wanted to read them in order!

As well as Blueys and emails I'd send him a parcel of goodies now and again. Usually food related! Phil's favourite, beef jerky always went down well along with other snacks and treats like crisps, sweets and biscuits. I didn't send chocolate though because in the summer months it is scorching out there. I sent out toiletries (not aerosols though, they're not allowed) and sun lotion too. In fact, Phil came back with a great sun tan and we all jested with him saying he'd been on a holiday for four months!

I worried about him but with the role he was doing out there, he wasn't 'front line' and so the danger was minimal. Still not a nice place to be though. He spent the first few months at Camp Bastion and then finished the tour at Kandahar Air Field (known as KAF). Life at Camp Bastion then was even more primitive than now and he was sleeping in large tents where the amenities weren't great but when he went to Kandahar the accommodation was much better and it even had it's only little shopping complex called 'The Boardwalk' where he treated himself to the occasional coffee and bought teddys for our girls! It must have seemed like an American shopping mall after living in the confines of Camp Bastion.

I'm not sure how other wives feel about this but I did feel guilty at times. Guilty, that I was at home, with all the home comforts that go with it whilst he was sharing a tent or accommodation block with so many others. Guilty, that I could relax in our nice living room and watch the television whilst he was probably trying to watch a screen with 20 others or on a small laptop screen. Guilty, that I could enjoy a glass of wine whilst he was working in a 'dry zone' where no alcohol was allowed. Guilty, that I had my own space whilst most of the time he had to share his with so many others. I felt bad that when I enjoyed a night with family or friends, he wasn't there to enjoy it too...and when it came to sharing my day I would sometimes play it down so he didn't feel down about it. The last thing he wanted to hear, or so I thought was about me enjoying myself, but I was wrong. So often he would say how it was great to hear I'd had a nice evening with family or that I'd enjoyed a good film. He didn't want me to sit around feeling sorry for myself or not enjoying life just because he wasn't there to share it with me. He didn't want my life to be on hold for four months just because his was until we were reunited again.

For those at home there is a constant reminder that 'he' is not there. The empty seat on the sofa next to you when you're enjoying a film. The cold space on the other side of the bed that you venture over to, only to find he's not there. The empty seat at church, the empty chair at a restaurant or get together but I carried him in my heart always, no empty space there.

Unlike some army wives, our home is over 300 miles away from where Phil is based and he is usually home on the weekend and away Monday to Friday, so in that respect I was used to him not always being around but the weekends would come and the reality that he was away would hit me again.

And so the days would pass...counting, counting, me and him.


We did manage to speak on the phone fairly regularly and he would get a phone card whilst out there to enable him to phone home when he could, usually a couple of times a week. Ah, the sound of his voice...it was so good to hear his voice but would also make me feel very sad and more alone when I got off the phone to him and likewise he'd feel the same. He'd email me later and then tell me how it meant so much to hear my voice but would leave him feeling even more aware of the miles between us. But we wouldn't be without those phone calls...they were like a little oasis in the long tour of duty...we'd soak it all up and hold onto every word, recalling it all again later.

There were times when I wouldn't hear from him, when all communications were shut down.
These times are known as 'Op Minimise'. This is when something has happened, usually a fatality, and they don't want the news to get back to family without it following the official course of action. With today's ease of communication that could so easily happen with Facebook or email.

So on the days I didn't hear from Phil, I would wonder what had happened and it would make me think of those at home, knowing that soon, someone, somewhere, completely unaware  would have news they never wanted to hear.
I prayed often for Phil and the guys out there, even more so on days when I didn't hear from him...prayed he was safe, prayed for all the armed forces out there and for their protection. If Phil had been front line I'm not sure how I would have felt on days like those. It must be an agonising wait for wives whose men are front line. I know just watching the news on television was difficult at times knowing Phil was there.

Once you get to the half way point,  things always appear more easier to manage and cope with. You just keep focusing on the end and counting down to those last few weeks and days.
And although I was excited and happy at the thought of having Phil home once more, I did worry about reconnecting and being around him again...it has been so long and I had adapted because you have to...and I know he felt the same. Could we pick up where we left off?

The girls and I made a banner and hung it outside the house from the upstairs windows welcoming him home. Wives who lived nearby met their husbands once they arrived on camp but Phil had the long drive home first before we could be reunited. And it was a few days before that happened because they have to debrief. Knowing he was back in the country made me feel so excited but frustrated that it would be a little longer before I got to see him.
In hind sight perhaps I should have taken the girls out of school and gone down there and found accommodation but he would still have had to go to work until he  was debriefed.
And when he did arrive home the excitement was at fever pitch!

Phil arrived home in the afternoon whilst the girls were still at school. He rang ahead to say he was almost home and  I remember him pulling on to the driveway in his car as I waited at the door. I just ran up to him as soon as he got out the car and flung my arms around him and gave him a long kiss...a kiss I'd waited four months to give him!
I couldn't believe it. To see him in the flesh and to look into his blue eyes...not just a photo anymore! It all seemed a bit surreal and we had a few tears. I was just so thankful to have him home, relieved and overjoyed, happy and overwhelmed all at once...a whole range of emotion!

Then we picked the girls up from school and they ran up the school driveway and threw themselves into his arms! And there were more tears!

And slowly we readjusted to being back together again. It wasn't always plain sailing but when you love each other, love wins through and the good times always outweigh any bad.

Since then, Phil has worked over in the US for a few months at a time and also served in Afghanistan again, January-May 2011.

So we are seasoned hands at it all now. Not that it gets any easier and I'm thankful he didn't have to go away again this year.

I dedicate this post to all the Army wives/girlfriends out there. You are all doing a great job supporting your husbands/boyfriends and holding down the fort until they're home again.
Behind every strong soldier, there is an even stronger woman who stands behind him, supports him, and loves him with all her heart.

God bless you all!

The inner self

I have always been intrigued by Russian Dolls or Matryoshka Dolls as they are formally known. They are a little set of dolls, usually made of wood, that can be opened by separating the top from the bottom, revealing a smaller doll inside which can also be opened revealing another doll and so on.

 

Matryoshka Dolls.

 

I'm not sure if intrigued or enchanted is the right word for how I feel about these dolls but either way I've always loved them! I stitched some cross stitch cards featuring these dolls back in the summer and enjoyed making them.

 

 

It wasn't until I had my own girls that I bought a Russian Doll and they enjoyed playing with it...so much so, our doll consists of a set of 4 not 5 dolls now! Where it went to, we'll never know.

 

It was whilst I was sat in church this morning that it got me thinking about this set of dolls.

It was initially because we sang a song called Shine. The chorus says:

Shine, from the inside out, that the world will see you live in me.

'You', meaning God.

 

What we see on the outside is not always the person on the inside. We reveal ourselves to people on different levels. It's usually the ones we love and whom we're closest to that see who we really are and know us best. Sometimes what we're going through or have been through is pushed deep down within us because we're sad about it, perhaps we're ashamed about it. You can't always tell from the outside what someone is battling with in their life, be it addiction, abuse, depression, loss, debt or illness.

We just can't see it. The layers that we build up around us are sometimes a way of burying all that and protecting ourselves. The

 inside is in conflict whilst we put on a face for the outside world.

 

I want you to know that God sees the inside. He knows you, He created you.

 

Psalm chapter 139 verse 13 says:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

 

1 Samuel chapter 16 verse 7 says:

For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

 

Nothing is hidden from God. I encourage you to pour out your heart to him. Help him to heal you and reveal the real you. Don't feel ashamed of who you are. As I said last week, the things you have gone through have made you the person you are! And if you are struggling with issues right now that no one else can see and no one else knows about, share it with God. Tell Him. How? Pray. Just talk to Him. He wants to help you.

Don't put on a face and pretend the world is ok when inside you feel like curling up in a ball and hiding away. I have done that in the past and the reality is, you need to let others see the real you to enable them to support and help you.

 

In fact, if it would help, put an anonymous prayer request at the bottom of this blog if you feel you can't pray, perhaps I can do it for you :) Doesn't matter that I don't know who you are, He does and that's what matters!

 

 

Going back to the song we sang at church this morning, well, I believe that since I gave my life to God, He is living in me. That doesn't make me perfect...I wish! But I am filled and renewed each day by His strength and face the challenges I face knowing He is guiding me. I like to think that I might touch others lives, support and help them, so that they might see Him at work in me. I'm hoping to shine... like the song says! :)

 

John chapter 1 verse 13-16 says:

 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

 

God is love...I know that and I hope you will know that too. He only wants the best for you...remember Jeremiah 29 verse 11 I mentioned in last Sunday's post? It says:

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.

 

So, what I want to say is God knows the bigger picture, He knows what you're going through and He can help you.

And next time someone asks and you say you're fine, check... do you mean it? Or perhaps this person has been sent your way so you can share what's really going on in your life. I've experienced that my self this week and opened up to someone that really knew what they were talking about and it helped!

 

And finally, going back to what is on the outside...it's a cliche but they say 'beauty comes from within.'

 It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside it's what's on the inside that counts! I could do a whole other blog post on that especially in this day and age where beauty and perfection seem to be the most important thing to a lot of people, especially to our young people. Be true to yourself, be you!

There is only one you, you are unique and you are loved.

 

Hope you have a great week ahead. Love and prayers, Marie xx

 

 

 

 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

Well, the tree is up! I am now sat admiring it from the sofa whilst I put my feet up!

 

 

Feeling a bit dizzy from going round and round the tree so many times, putting on the lights and then the beads.

Thanks to Phil for following me round the tree with them...saved me getting into a tangle!

Once that part was done I left the girls to it. They did a great job!

 

Eleanor adds some finishing touches.

I have to say, there was a time when they were younger that I'd let them help and then when they'd gone to bed I rearranged things a bit!

We found so many hand made ornaments and baubles that the girls have made over the years too. Happy memories...and the girls enjoyed reminiscing about when they made them.

This year we got a wreath for the front door too made for us by a friend of Phil's.

 

I think it looks very Christmassy!

 

 

 

I found this cute picture of the girls taken 10 years ago, Christmas 2002

 

 

Oh how they've changed!

As there is no chance of getting them to pose for the same photo 10 years on, here is a picture of them taken in the summer.

 

 

Hope you've all had a lovely Saturday. Love Marie xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

Odd socks

Is it just me or does every home have a place for odd socks to live until they're reunited with their partner?

It seems to me that I can't do a wash these days without adding to the odd sock drawer. Yes, we actually have a designated drawer in this house!

And at the moment it contains...51 odd socks!

I know, I can't believe it either!

 

How ridiculous. So where have they all gone? Well, I know for sure there will be some hiding under the girls beds because they find it too difficult to walk to the wash basket to put them in...but I'm struggling to think where the others might be...Any ideas?

The odd sock drawer

 

Perhaps there is some 'pairs' in there that I've missed. I need to go through it and check. I hasten to add that none of the odd socks are mine! I might just encourage the girls to wear odd socks and be done with it. It seems like a good solution to this on going problem.

 

This weekend I intend to put the Christmas tree up and make the house all Christmassy.

Phil's home for the weekend so I'll send him up in the loft for the tree :)

 

Hope you all have a lovely weekend. love Marie xx

 

Introducing...

On a lighter note from yesterdays post, I've decided to introduce you to two family members who've been part of the family for 3 and a half years now.
So, making their debut on my blog are our guinea pigs, sisters-Hazel and Clover!

They were named after two of the rabbits from the book, Watership Down. My sister Donna and I loved the movie and must have watched it 10 times or more! Yes...I know they're guinea pigs, not rabbits but they're cute names!

They were a birthday present for my middle daughter Laura on her 11th birthday, after much begging I might add! She was relentless in her begging. She asked over and over and over again. Perhaps 'asked' is too gentle a word...perhaps a more stronger word like 'demanded' is the correct word. She sent text messages to me. She would ring me when I was out. She'd leave notes on my pillow. I have to admit to not wanting the responsibility of pets but Laura said,
"I'll look after them, I'll feed them and buy their food with my pocket money. I'll clean them out and you won't need to ask me. I'll just get on and do it!"

3 and a half years on and none of the above takes place. She helps to clean them out but needs prompting and I have taken them under my wing, like the mother hen I am and tend to be the one who looks after them the most.

They live in a  hutch in the garden during the Spring and Summer but towards the end of Autumn, around Bon Fire night, we bring them indoors to live in their indoor cage. Their diet isn't fancy, just guinea pig nuggets and some broccoli, a carrot or two and maybe some green beans and apple.
They also have hay to eat and as a treat a dried corn on the cob to nibble at.
They make lovely little bubbly noises and when they get excited they 'popcorn' which is just what they look like, a corn popping, flipping their back end round as they jump a little off the ground.

 

 

                                                                           Hazel

 

 

 

 

Clover

 

 

Despite my reservations about having a pet, they have been good pets and Laura has enjoyed petting them and playing with them. Hazel and Clover also have a guinea pig friend up the road called Smokey and she belongs to my nephew Ben. Although, like me, my sister seems to have taken on the care of Smokey, cleaning her out, feeding her etc. Sadly Smokey's sister Fudge went to guinea pig heaven a few months ago and has left Smokey feeling rather lonely at times so, Hazel and Clover have a get together with her to lift her spirits!

In the summer they have a pen in the garden and eat grass all day and laze in the sun...it's a hard life! But I do feel a bit sorry for them in the winter months with it being cold and damp so often. However, we do manage to get them put on the patio occasionally for some fresh air and exercise...something Smokey up the road could do with! She is a pampered pet, lives in doors all year round and is a giant in comparison to our two!

Hope you have enjoyed meeting our guineas :) I will write more soon! Love Marie xx

 

 

Anaphylactic shock...as experienced by my daughter Sarah!

Sunday night about 7.30pm I received a phone call no parent wants to receive. It was my eldest daughter Sarah, who is allergic to peanuts, telling me she had eaten something with peanut in and was having an allergic reaction but she was telling me she couldn't breathe....

I told her not to panic (easy for me to say!) and to drink water and to get her friends to ring an ambulance. I told her I'd be with her as soon as I could...she was about 3 miles away in another town.
I grabbed my coat and bag and phone and headed out to the car, got in the car and then had to get out again...'What about anti- histamine tablets and a bottle of water?' I heard in my head. So, I rushed back inside and grabbed them then got back in the car.

Sarah has always had a mild allergy to peanuts ever since she was a toddler. She was eating peanut butter on toast and had only had a mouthful when her lips started to swell and her face went blotchy, Straight away I saw she was having a reaction so took the toast away. Thankfully it never got any worse than that and we avoided peanuts from then on. She has mistakenly eaten things which may have been cooked in peanut oil  or had peanuts in since then and had similar, mild reactions.
And so when she rang I thought this was going to be a similar episode...how wrong I was!

I knew it was serious because she said she couldn't breathe properly. I was on the road for about 7 minutes...all the way there I was praying our loud saying
'Please God, keep her air ways open, keep her calm, help her know and feel your presence...' over and over again.
And looking back, I felt fairly calm under the circumstances. I know God had his hand upon me.

When I arrived she was in a bad way, worse than I'd dare to imagine. Still conscious but her eyes were streaming, her lips had swollen and her skin was blotchy and her voice had changed...it was her tongue swelling. I quickly gave her the bottle of water and encouraged her to take the anti-histamine.
She was panicking and I kept telling her,
'You're safe now, I'm here, you're going to be alright, we're going straight to the hospital'.
It turns out, she'd eaten some naan bread which must have been cooked in ground nut or peanut oil...

Her friends had not thought to call for an ambulance knowing I was coming and when I got there I would have had to wait too long for one to arrive so got her in the car and drove quickly to the hospital...again, feeling peace that surpasses all understanding...

When we arrived at A&E I saw a parking space right by the front door (thankyou God) and got her out the car..she was getting worse and as we got there the lady on the desk took a look at her and let us straight in. She didn't even take my details at first, just Sarah's name.
Sarah was suffering a severe anaphylactic shock made worse by the asthma she has had since she was a toddler.

Straight away she was worked on by a couple of doctors. They put breathing mask on her attached to a nebulizer to help her breathe and whilst one doctor injected her with adrenaline in her leg muscle the other doctor was putting a canula in ready for any medication to be administered and for blood to be taken.
Sarah does not like needles and you can't even say the word 'vein' without her feeling weak and wobbly and she definitely doesn't do blood!
So, all the time I was saying to her,
'You're doing really well, you are safe, this is going make you feel so much better' etc But she really wasn't in any position to resist what was being done to her...it was saving her life!
I stood at the end of the bed watching, thinking, this is my daughter, my baby, how can this be happening?  It all felt very surreal.
I'd given birth to her in this  hospital and now we were in A&E with Sarah's life being saved.

The first shot of adrenaline didn't seem to achieve much so they gave her another lot. The adrenaline made her body shake uncontrollably and she was distressed as she couldn't make sense why but the doctors and nurses kept explaining things to her and talking all the time to help her remain calm and understand what was going on. They also gave her hydro cortisone through the cannula and put her on a saline drip to get some fluids into her.

After about 15 minutes she seemed to stabilise and later that night was taken to a high dependency bed  on children's ward for observation through out the night. She'd never spent a night in hospital before, not since she was born over 16 years ago. But she was safe now, she was in the best place for her and the nurses were doing a great job.

 

Sarah stabilised. (and Sarah asked me to take this photo for posterity!)

I'd phoned Sarah's dad and told him what had happened. He lives 35 miles away and had rushed through to be with her. That was all very surreal too...we're divorced  and although we get on OK we haven't had to sit in the same room together for a very long time. But it was fine. We were there for Sarah and it certainly meant a lot to Sarah having her dad there as she doesn't get to see him very often.
I returned home to get some things together for her. Thankfully my sister Donna looked after my other two girls Laura and Eleanor whilst I was at the hospital with Sarah and had thought ahead and got some things packed. I don't know what I'd do without her! I always say I know why God gave me a twin. She has been there for me through the most difficult of times...or I should say 'put up with me' through the most difficult of times! We really look out for each other. I'm thankful we can do that for one another...especially as we live doors away for each other!

 

 

I returned to the hospital to give Sarah the things she needed...and top of the list was her phone charger...because letting all your friends know you're in the hospital is very important! And the last thing you want is your battery running out mid text or tweet!

 

Sarah, the day after and on the mend!

Sarah will now carry a JEXT pen  which contains adrenaline for the rest of her life. It is almost the same as a Epi pen but has a longer shelf life.  So, if she goes into anaphalxis again either she or someone with her will push the needle into the muscle in the top of her leg for 10 seconds to administer adrenaline until the ambulance arrives.

It was later that night when I'd left Sarah at the hospital with her dad and came home to be with Laura and Eleanor that it really hit me. I could have lost her. I really could have lost her...My Sarah. And I cried and cried and cried some more at the thought of what might have happened had I not got there when I did but I also cried with thanks that God had been with us and protected her.
And the next day I cried some more...and the day after that too for good measure!
Once again, God helped me through a tough situation.
I'm thankful for the love and support shown by family and friends too. Without you all it would have been a tough few days!

Next blog will hopefully be more light hearted! love Marie xx

More info on anaphylaxis here:
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Anaphylaxis/Pages/Introduction.aspx

 

Develop from the Negatives

 

I saw this on Facebook yesterday and immediately identified with it. In my life I have gone through some negative experiences ie bad times and have found that it is in these times that I have grown the most, spiritually and emotionally. In fact, I will go as far to say that I would not be the person I am today had I not have been through those difficult times.

I have endured illness throughout my teens with an overactive thyroid gland which in the end required removal to make me well again. I have experienced loss and bereavement of people close to me. But I would say the most painful experience that I've been through is divorce.

I hit rock bottom and didn't know how I would get through the nightmare when my first marriage ended. I'd envisaged a future that suddenly was taken away from me. It no longer existed and I didn't know what the future held for me. I was a single mum bringing up 3 daughters...it wasn't supposed to be that way. It's not what I planned. BUT it is what God planned! He saw the bigger picture and knew where I would end up on this road, the journey called life.

One of the verses I held onto during that difficult time was Jeremiah 29 verse 11:
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you,  plans to give you hope and a future.

So, I held onto that verse and made a step forward every day, leaving my old life behind me.
I think we are all a work in progress and the image I have in my mind is that of a lump of coal.
Think of how a diamond comes into being...through intense 'stress' and 'pressure' the carbon becomes a brilliant shining diamond!
And likewise, the pearl is formed through 'irritation' that enters the oyster but over time it forms a beautiful pearl.
After pressure, stress and irritation, something good emerges...a new you! A shinier, stronger version of yourself!

1 Peter 5 verse 10 says:
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

God will allow testing times, As a loving Father he disciplines us knowing that we will be all the better for it in the end. And these testing times won't last forever. You will get through them.

The sermon at church today focused on Patience. Through the trials of life and testing times you may find that you lack patience...When will this difficult time end? When will there be a solution to this problem? How am I going to get through this? The answer for me and hopefully for you is and always will be to turn to God. He is the one who never leaves you or forsakes you, He is the one who will give you strength to endure the pain and suffering, He has a plan for your future and He will give you the answers...in His time. That is an important thing to remember...in His time. Not ours. We sometimes try to solve the problem our own way. I urge you to wait on God, hear His voice, let Him guide you and direct you. How? Pray. He hears you...He knows you. He wants the best for you because He is a loving God, a caring God, the God of all comfort.

2 Corinthians 1 verse 3-4 says:
 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

When I have gone through bad times I have often asked the question why...and the answer I always hear is why not?  We don't live in a perfect world and none of us is immune to the pain and suffering of this world. Not even Jesus on the cross...but it served God's ultimate plan to provide salvation for us...a way back to Him, so that our sins could be forgiven and allow us to begin a new life in Him.

James 1 verse 2 says:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

The verse tells us that the trials we face will produce perseverance  and that this will make us mature and complete...the person God wants us to be!  As I said earlier, I know that I wouldn't be the person I am now had I not have gone through difficult times.We won't learn perserverance or patience if everything in life is just right!


I like to think that my suffering was never in vain but in gain! I have gained so much through going through the things I have experienced in life. As I said earlier, I have grown spiritually and emotionally and just as I was comforted by God in those times and those people used by God to help me, I can now use my life experiences to help others. To be able to say 'I've been there and you will come through this' and to comfort others in their difficult times has meant a lot to me.
As I said, one of my most difficult times was divorce but I'm now happily married to Phil...so God had it all worked out even though I couldn't see it at the time!
Romans 8 verse 28 says:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 


Finally, this song says it all. I have posted it on Facebook before but it really does tell others of how something negative can be turned into a positive.

 

I hope you have a great week ahead. Love and prayers, Marie x